capeandcowllogs | C-c-combo breaker

WHO: Bakura and Blue
WHERE: SOMEPLACE THAT IS NOT THE PARK GASP GASP SHOCK THUD
WHEN: Friday afternoon 4ish
WARNINGS: Possible emo and WHAT IS MY LIIIFE. And sparkles.
SUMMARY: Bakura is wandering the city trying not to be emo and spots Blue.
FORMAT: Para plx

The weather was slowly taken a turn for the worst, clouds of dark impending storms gathering to cast shadows that moved swiftly over the ground.

It was sort of a fitting metaphor, Bakura reflected as he walked, having no real aim or direction. Ben's dinner wasn't for a few more hours more and he was pretty sure Fakir and his friend were still out dancing, meaning the studio would still be empty until Ben returned from whatever he had been preparing for the dinner.

And he wasn't ready to go back home either. Not that Alastair would be home from work for a little while longer, but...

He gave a soft sigh. He was such a coward. It had taken him near two weeks to get up the nerve to say it, he wasn't going to let it take him two more weeks to get over the rejection. Not when war between natives and the HIVE and possibly the HIVE and the City were looming...

Hiruma was leaving, taking his suite with him. He wasn't sure what Alastair was doing... possibly going with him.

He would need to get up the nerve to apologize before then...

Specially since he knew he couldn't go with them. Not while his friends were still in the City. If something happened where he could have healed them and he hadn't been around...

He wouldn't lose anyone again. He wasn't going to run away from where his friends needed him. He'd protect them.

Even though he wanted to get away from this storm so very badly. Even with the strength Blue's words had given him.... he was petrified still. He'd zeroed his hit points when the sickness zombies had attacked. He'd lost his reason and his mind and burned every last point until he had collapsed. He had been lucky that, like last time, someone had been there to catch him...

But he couldn't always count on that. He had to learn to be his own strength, so he could be strong for others.

He gave a deep sigh, shaking his head.

Like he knew how to do that...

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Bakura smiled with a nod. "So everything's been fine with-- everything so far?" he began a bit awkwardly, not really quite knowing where to start. He knew there were quite a few things that had gone on, between new arrivals and the meeting Matsuka had mentioned, but that wasn't something you just asked out right. It was too rude and the subject was a rather sensitive one.

But he had been-- and still was worried about that whole situation and wanted to make sure Blue was doing all right.

The placid expression Blue wore was faintly shifted by the starts of a frown; he had little desire to speak to his own troubles. With someone with a disposition like Bakura's, too...He sent his stare across the room during the pause, but his eyes fixed back on the boy when he spoke, words chosen carefully and spoken slowly.

"There have been...difficulties." Declarations of outright war, as they were. "I do not wish to give you cause to be concerned, however. Such things can be managed, and they will be." He nodded a bit, certain. It was true enough--he had agreed to...try. Try and keep that bond of friendship. It was more for the boy's sake than his own, however, and Blue still spoke from a distance.

He paused, his lips pressed into a thin line for the silence before speaking again. "I would rather listen. If you wish to speak of yourself..."

Bakura gave a small nod. "If there's anything I can do to help..." he said softly before letting the subject be waved and moving on with a small, embarrassed ducking of his head. "Aaa... things..." He fidgeted a bit with his napkin. If it were the old Blue, he would have no trouble just opening up, but he was still unsure. He didn't want to impose on someone who just barely knew him, after all...

Especially with something that probably seemed to trivial, especially compared to all the fuss he had been making over it.

He fidgeted a bit more before speaking again. "Things have been...awkward," he finally finished with a small sheepish smile. "But not bad."

Their tones were warm, but the talk was chilled with vagueness and distance. Blue frowned faintly at the realization, casting his gaze down at the table that separated them. He was reminded of the great, almost blinding notion of hope and happiness when he had first been sighted...This was a disappointment, wasn't it? Not of Blue's own making, but the circumstances were what they were. They would not improve without effort in any case.

He looked back up, the frown vanished, glazed over in a placid, receptive look. "I will hope for you," he said. "That things will improve, and discomfort overcome." It was almost something said aloud to himself as much as the boy. "If I can be of aid in any case, you need only ask."

Bakura gave a small nod, looking at his napkin a moment more before tucking it into his shirt. Especially with the size of the cream puffs the bakery made, he didn't want to make a mess of himself.

He gave a faint smile. Blue's words hadn't changed any. Maybe...

He had said that he believed that the Blue here in the City now was the same as the one who had been before, just from another time. And he did beleive it, but it was...

He was making excuses again, wasn't he? Reasons to hide away. Older or younger, the one who remembered him or not, Blue was still Blue...

But he was so afraid of screwing things up...

... the same fear he had with Alastair.

He didn't want things to change, not things like his friends or his friendships. But things did change. People changed, grew closer or father away, new experiences shaping them in different ways...

And he if stayed stock still, so afraid of--

He gave a soft exhale. Let it go... Give the fear its place and move on...

Blue was Blue. And hiding away only caused more hurt in the long run... He had promised Matsuka he'd stop hiding so much. If he promised one friend... why shouldn't that promise extend to others he was friends with?

"Maybe..." he finally began, hesitating almost as soon as he started before pushing ahead. "Just talking about it... maybe it'll make it easier then I finally..." he trailed off.

Because if he didn't talk to Alastair now, before everyone started leaving...

The conflict that went unspoken played out in fast motion before Blue's mind-eye. Each hesitation was a spur to speak up, but the Mu said nothing, only watching and listening with a growing discontent. As Bakura's voice gave out to silence yet again, Blue spoke up, leaning forward with his earnest.

"Nothing changes without the initiative," he affirmed, fighting the boy's colors of hesitation. "I don't know what problem plagues you currently, nor will I pry, but...One's instincts are usually right. And to talk...it's a beginning." That's what this was, wasn't it?

Bakura nodded, again thinking of the complicated mess between him and Alastair. The longer he hid away from that mess, the longer it stayed tangled and that he was apart from his brother. "There's someone... someone who's very close to me. Like family, but not, since we're not even really from the same world because things that happened in his version of our world never happened in mine, so we never met until--"

He cut himself off, realizing he was rambling, and about things that really weren't important at all and probably wouldn't even make sense to Blue.

He was trying to deflect again.

"Sorry," he apologized before taking a breath and trying again. "Somehow, what I felt for him... started being more than just brotherly," he attempted to explain. "I didn't say anything for a long time, since I knew... well... it wasn't something I should be feeling, not if we were like brothers." More fidgeting as he looked down. "But it didn't go away... so I finally... with everyone's advice, I finally told him..." he trailed off a moment, unable to hold back the echoes of the anxiety and crushing despair he had felt that moment. "And I ran away. Because I couldn't deal with the rejection," he admitted softly, looking back down at his untouched cream puff. "And with everything that's happening, I know he'll be leaving soon to go somewhere safe... and I have to talk to him before he leaves."

There was a pause a moment before he added a very soft: "I can't lose him..."

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