let's make the most of the night

[glowsferatu]

WHO: stuckhome residents and their guests
WHERE: Stuckhome
WHEN: 11/13, starting at 7pm
WARNINGS: discussion of suicide
SUMMARY: on this day one year ago, three girls died in an arena together. tonight, they hold a dinner party.
FORMAT: mingle

[ kanaya hadn't bothered mentioning why she called this gathering to most of the people here, and was evasive with anyone who saw through it, but she put her all into it. the house is spotless by the time the guests start arriving, everything in readiness for a quiet night with friends. ]

Comments

DINNER

[glowsferatu]

[ the roast may be a little dry, but it at least looks great. she really tried, guys. it's served with sour cream and chives potatoes and green beans, and some kind of red punch to drink. she did her best to make sure there isn't any alcohol available. for dessert, she brought a pumpkin pie from work, with vanilla ice cream on the side.

it may not be the best meal in town, but it's home cooked with love, and the company was really what the evening was meant to be about. ]

open

[glowsferatu]

[ once everyone's plate is cleared, before dessert, kanaya rises to her feet and clinks her fork against her glass. she waits until she has everyone's attention, a forced, awkward smile on her lips. after all eyes are on her, she waits a bit more, looking around the table and taking a deep breath. her smile quickly fades.

she can do this. and no crying, not yet, just get the words out. it'll be the first ones that are the hardest, everything after should be easy. ]

I killed myself a year ago. I even had someone else strike the actual blow, I suppose I'm something of a coward that way. [ her eyes wander down to her plate, maybe fearing judgement in the others' eyes a little, maybe it's more the pity she doesn't want to see. ] I was at a point where I couldn't see myself among the living, and so, perhaps I didn't deserve to remain there. It was stupid of me, among other things.

[ she looks back up, her voice coming in stronger, not leaving a moment for anyone to interrupt, to protest. her eyes meet minako's. ] But when I returned, that same girl whose hand I sullied approached me, never begrudging or blaming me for what I'd made her do, though she had every right. She became a dear friend. [ she gives rin a smile. ] As did the girl we made our unfortunate witness, her life spared for only a little longer by our actions.

[ her gaze scans the rest of the room, maybe gauging their reactions. it had been selfish, perhaps, of her to track them into this night, this confession. it asks too much. she shakes her head. ]

We aren't gathered here today to dwell on that day. What matters is the year that's since past. To the friends we've made through it, and since. [ she looks to rose beside her, her smile growing warm as she feels her eyes start to water. ] To the people who helped us to realize that we have things worth living for. To those we love, [ she nods to karkat. ] and those we keep close. [ to davesprite, billy, steve. ] To those who've stood by me in the best times and in the worst. I'd like to dedicate tonight to all of you, and to the days we have ahead together.

[ she closes her eyes for a moment, brushing her fingers against the lids, and finally she raises her glass. ] To life.

open

[remarkablyspry]

[Steve's head remains tilted well after the toast – himself not all that acquainted with the etiquette involved anyway.

he's just wondering if he's missed something here.

once she's sat, he shimmies in his seat before deciding to just get up and bring the seat, popping down beside her.]

Ahm...Kanaya?

[glowsferatu]

[ steve she was slightly embarrassed to include in this confession. it's a bit awkward to expose him to something like this so early in their acquaintance, especially when it's the first some people who've known her for years would have heard. but he does live here, he has a right to know what comes with that.

she smooths out her hair before turning to him, a weak attempt at a polite smile on her lips. ]

Yes, Steve?

[remarkablyspry]

[he leans forward in a somewhat conspiratorial fashion, unease written on his face as he almost-whispers:] Was I supposed to bring a gift of some sort for this?

...I didn't research this event beforehand. [his eyes wince a little, very apologetic and worried.]

[glowsferatu]

[ she gives him a blank look for a few moments before her face softens with a light laugh, a smile playing across her lips. it's moments like this that make her glad he decided to stay with them once his friends were gone. ]

You're perfectly alright, Steve. Your company today is gift enough.

[remarkablyspry]

Oh, good. [sagging with relief, smiling weakly.] I must admit I've been so terribly preoccupied, I was running the risk of coming here quite rude and ill-prepared!

[gandere]

[ That's just depressing. ]

Uhh.

[ It hits her a little harder than she cares to admit though. With the loss of Saber and the 'anniversary' of their deaths, her emotions are so on edge that it shows in the way she grips her glass in a manner that threatens to crack it. ]

--Well, it's a good thing you appreciate life a little more or else we wouldn't have to listen to such downer talk, huh? [ An attempt was made. ]

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya resumes her seat with a nod. she'd told rin exactly what she intended with this night, but...that she intended to do something like this wasn't really in the agreed upon plan. whoops. ]

It's true that I have a tendency to suffer in silence, but a little downer talk is generally better than an abundance of a downer reality.

[gandere]

[ Naturally she should have seen this coming to prepare herself. Death itself brings a lot of feelings that most never have the chance to deal with themselves. After all, once they're deceased, there's no returning to the world of the living to feel the guilt or bitterness.

Rin herself is still very good at keeping her own feelings at bay. ]

Next time you should just speak up a lot sooner. [ As if that ever solves anything. Not everyone is as open-minded as her. ] Then you wouldn't have to suffer in silence.

[glowsferatu]

I know, but knowing the path and walking it are very different, and I'm not exactly the best at it. That's just how bad habits are, though I know that to only be an excuse.

I suppose I just don't really think anyone cares to hear my problems. But I just felt this was something that needed to be said.

[ and mostly she just doesn't want to reactions exactly like this one, where the problem isn't so much in what she's expressing, but that the very act of expression has only caused inconvenience. ]

[gandere]

It did needed to be said, so don't regret it now that you've spoken it. [ Rin's just one of those people who believes in owning up to mistakes and rolling with the punches, so she's trying to think of what she could say to help alleviate her concerns. ] You can't help how people will react to hearing that sort of thing, but it can't be helped now.

[ All they can do is try to move forward. Thankfully, Rin is good at swallowing her emotions. ]

It was something that needed to be said, but everyone is here for you. At least I think they are and don't think that I mean anything too severe with that. I'm just trying to show you a bit of support.

[xxii_thefool]

[...oh.

Minako's smile is a practiced one, so it only falters for a little bit at the way that Kanaya's speech begins. It does turn self-conscious, however, when Kanaya looks her way, and she glances downward for a moment.

Only for a moment. She looks up again soon enough, at that last part - maybe she'd have preferred not to have had last year brought up, but the purpose of this whole thing is at least something she can get behind, and she smiles warmly as she, too, raises her glass.]

...cheers.

[glowsferatu]

[ and at that, kanaya flicks her gaze downward, her expression ambiguous. ] And, you know, all things considered, I'd rather it have happened than not. For the friends made, the lessons learned. I don't think I'd be doing as well otherwise.

[nitidus]

[It's hard, not to feel a little sad during the speech. Kanaya and she - they kept a lot of secrets from one another, before. Rose is still keeping secrets now. But - things had been so bad, not that long ago. It's strange to remember last Christmas and just how sour things had been beginning to get. It's strange to think of it and look at Kanaya now. There's a swell of fondness in Rose's chest as she listens to her, one that helps her keep the small smile on her face.

When Kanaya finishes talking, Rose discreetly reaches for her hand under the table to give it a squeeze. Her eyes might look a little glassy. ]

[glowsferatu]

[ once she's done and she's settled back into her chair, kanaya visibly deflates. who would have thought being honest would be so draining? she hoped it might be like a weight off her chest, but she doesn't feel lighter as much as light-headed. rose's hand in hers helps, reminds her that it's okay and she doesn't have to do it all alone.

she gives it a squeeze back before placing it on her knee, leaning over to rest her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. ]

[nitidus]

It was very moving.

[The speech. She squeezes Kanaya's hand and turns to kiss her head, nosing into her hair just for a moment. For a moment, she's quiet - keen to just let Kanaya settle for a moment and digest the weight of her speech.

She smiles a small smile.]

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya just takes a deep breath, trying to catch up as much to what she's said as everyone else. but she feels relaxed in a way she didn't really expect to. even with the worst having been said, she's at a place where she's strangely comfortable. ]

That was the idea, I suppose. To give you all an idea of just how important you are to me. It really can't be overstated.

[nitidus]

Very true.

[Last year, Rose thinks it might have been very hard for Kanaya to be this open and honest with the people she cares about. She thinks there might have been a lot of sulking and avoidance and overall embarrassment about the things going on in her life.

Rose gets it. She often felt the same away about her own problems. She still does. However: ]

I'm very proud of you, Kanaya.

MINGLING

[glowsferatu]

[ it's a fairly big house, so there's a lot of space to wander around, many rooms to explore, though kanaya's done her best to herd everyone to the spacious living room. they could probably hold a modest ball in here, if they wanted, but it might be a little hard to maneuver with the couches and numerous bookshelves. either way, it's a good room for a party, so everyone can take their pie and find somewhere to lounge around. maybe there's something to watch on the television if you can't figure out a way to break the ice. ]

[gandere]

[ Mingling MORE LIKE AVOIDING EVERYONE.

Sure hope there's enough room in the house for all these brooders to brood. Though Rin hardly looks to be the type to silently angst, she's at least got a thoughtful expression on her face as she remains hidden around the edge of the room.

WALLFLOWERS UNITE. ]

[remarkablyspry]

[there is literally no chance of success for evading socializing if Steve is in the room.

Steve is in the room. zeroing in on fresh target in 3, 2...]

Greetings!

[chipper as always.] And welcome, I'd assume. You're a guest, aren't you? Unless we've recently added new members to the abode...and in that case – [a...h....beat.] In that case, it'd still be welcome!

[gandere]

[ She doesn't jump up in surprise, but she's certainly startled. Torn from her thoughts of the day, she's now faced with a greater travesty than the loss of a friend from home.

Socializing. ] What?

No, of course I don't live here. I live on my own because I'm an adult woman who can't be seen living with teenagers. [ Even if they are close to her age. ] Oh, but we haven't met before, have we?

[ Studying his body. ] People wear masks all the time so I've started to memorize body shapes instead.

[remarkablyspry]

[all of this was received with a very curious and very blatant stare. Steve's head tilted while his posture remained frozen in an almost-a-slouch-but-not-really way, the way someone just about to lean forward to walk would stand.

body shapes? he blinks, looking down at himself, fidgeting his weight from one foot to the other.]

Is that so...? [curious! he is surprised to be so surprised by the notion. how novel!

he looks up, beaming.] That's an interesting way about it, I think! Something I'm sure I've taken for granted in my own case, actually... [he straightens up.]

What does my body shape translate to? I'd be very interested to know!

[gandere]

How would I know!

[ Now she's embarrassed as if he's teasing her regarding it as she stubbornly crosses her arms again, hiding her face behind the shadows of her wavy hair. ]

Body types don't really tell you that sort of thing! [ Huffing up. ] I just meant it's easier to memorize people by the way they look entirely other than their faces geez!