And you're right there, but I can't see you

[guardiandevil]

WHO: Matt and anyone who is visiting him in the hospital
WHERE: A hospital...
WHEN: Backdated to Sunday night through Thursday afternoon. Please specify the time and date in your post! :)
WARNINGS: ???
SUMMARY: Matt is in the hospital and people visit him
FORMAT: Whatever you like.

Matt was pretty lousy at this sort of thing. The idea of lying still and letting people poke him and prod him and study his body never sat well with him. He didn't like having to explain away gunshot and stab wounds, or deal with the inevitable vision tests that doctors always seemed to want to perform on him. He especially didn't like that these doctors were strangers to him, people who didn't know him or know his history. He couldn't really trust these people to figure out what was wrong with him, why he'd lost his memories, or why his powers were gone.

But without his radar, he was useless. He felt so paralyzed without it, like he was broken and had no chance in the world of ever being fixed again. Now instead of being Hell's Kitchen's most feared defender he was some pitiful, strung out blind guy. It was quite a way to fall. Sure, he'd experienced a loss of his powers before, but this seemed so much more profound and terrifying. Maybe it was the not knowing how it had happened or who was responsible.

Someone had to be responsible, right? He didn't roofie himself. He didn't rough himself up. But he could remember anything since Tuesday. Whoever had done this had picked the perfect target: without his powers, he wouldn't be able to identify them anyway, with or without the drugs.

As it was now, he couldn't identify the visitors in his room, not without hearing their voices or being told they were there. He couldn't smell people, he couldn't hear their heartbeats. He could do nothing but lie in that bed and wait for some strange doctor to give approval for him to leave.

Matt was pretty sure he was going to go insane.

Comments

[indentcision]

No. I wanted to see if you were alive, and the coin agreed. [ He pauses. ] And I wanted us to be alone this time.

[guardiandevil]

Alright. [He frowns, stains to listen for Harvey's heartbeat, hears nothing.] You can see me, can't you?

[indentcision]

I'm not the one who's blind. [ He sneers, though amends himself after a moment. ] Only half in one eye.

[ He leans a bit closer to Matt, surveying him carefully. ]

I could have killed them, earlier. I didn't. I let them help me rescue you. I'm not just a monster, you know.

[guardiandevil]

Oh yeah? [It isn't clear which statement that's in reference to, but Matt doesn't sound entirely impressed.] So what are you, Harvey? A saint?

[indentcision]

No. [ Harvey clicks his tongue sympathetically. ] No one's a saint, Murdock. I'm not a monster, I just see things clearer than the rest of you. Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe I'm cursed. But I'm a man like any other.

[guardiandevil]

That's right. You're just a man. You can't blame your actions on something you can't control. You don't get the excuse of being a monster. You're accountable, just like everyone else.

[indentcision]

[ Angrily: ] Don't be stupid. I don't control fate any more than anyone else. Everything is always up to chance. I thought you understood that.

[guardiandevil]

It isn't fate. It's you, Harvey. [Almost disappointed.] You're in control of this and you don't even know it.

[indentcision]

I know exactly what I'm in control of. [ Still angrily. He stands. ] It's you that has no idea.

[guardiandevil]

... Are you leaving?

[indentcision]

I'm standing. The coin isn't flipped yet.

[guardiandevil]

[He reaches out, just to try to feel where Harvey is.]

Flip it then. What's it got to say?

[indentcision]

[ He flips his coin and then moves his hand, letting Matt touch it. Letting him touch his palm and the coin resting in it. ]

Tell me. Marked or not marked.

[guardiandevil]

[He touches it, frowns at how dull everything feels right now.]

Let me feel the other side first. So I know the difference.

[indentcision]

[ Harvey frowns, but he turns the coin over with his thumb. ]

Tell me.

[guardiandevil]

[He runs his fingers over the coin again.]

Unmarked. So, what's the verdict?

[indentcision]

[ He hesitates a moment, not moving. ]

I should go.

[guardiandevil]

Is that what it means?

[Matt doesn't move either. In fact, he's still touching the coin.]

[indentcision]

This time. Good heads was 'go.' [ He still stayed put, scarred hand curling only slightly against Matt's as if to palm the coin. The fingers don't do more than twitch. ]

[guardiandevil]

[He finally does let go of the coin, hand dropping back onto the bed then.]

Uh-huh. Out of curiosity, do you always do what it tells you to?

[indentcision]

No.

[ Now he palms it, putting the coin back into his pocket. ]

Twice. Only twice.

[guardiandevil]

[Matt's expression is somewhat surprised by this.]

How come?

[indentcision]

The first time I -- [ He hesitates, sounding annoyed. ] I was too merciful for my own good. I let someone live. The second time I let someone else decide for me.

[ Stares at. Not that you can see it. ]

[guardiandevil]

[He considers this for a moment.]

Who'd you let decide?

[indentcision]

Her name was Renee.