capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

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(no subject)

WHO:

slayerpreferred
WHERE: Buffy's place?
WHEN: This past monday? This monday? IDK
WARNINGS: Probably none... INTENSE CONVERSATIONS
SUMMARY: Angel and Buffy need to share words in a word sharing conversation
FORMAT: actionspamtastic

[ Angel still, had no idea how he was supposed to do this. It had almost been easier when Buffy came to visit him in L.A. because then at least they had argued. It had been easier to tell her to go home, that they both needed to live their own lives when their words were both too sharp and angry to try to fit any amount of warmth in-between. And warmth, for Angel, was enough of a rarity to begin with.

But now he was supposed to talk? And while he'd much rather do it face to face than over the communication devices, he didn't know if he could talk to begin with. The prospects were terrifying; Cordy's death, Connor's existence, how he could just go ahead and tell Buffy those kind of things when no one else was supposed to know to begin with? And how could he even expect her to speak to him afterward? He didn't really want to lose the one good thing he had here, but he didn't want to lie to her, either.

It was Buffy. She was different; she had always been... different.

Standing in front of the door to her apartment, Angel wouldn't be surprised if Buffy knew he was here before he even knocked. Which had nothing to do with why he was hesitating, and more to do with his continued curiosities as to how this place effected all of them. And then he was finally knocking on the door, somehow going even quieter as he waited for Buffy to answer. ]

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Yeah, well, it's not the most discreet. [This from 'Buffy'] ..But I'm glad you came back.

Yeah. Me too. [ he givs Buffy a slightly more serious look, ] Don't know if i'll stay, but i'm here for awhile longer.

[She nods, knowing something like that was coming even if it still hurts.]

Then I'll just have to make it count.

Think it's worth it to ruin it with a talk, then? [ Angel's not even pretending to smile about any of this. ]

[She nods.] A talking talk with... talking.

And words, I guess. I mean, that's why you're here, right?

Why else would I be? [ ..... that was unintentionally questionable. ] Except for the talking. And the company.

[She looked sheepishly at her carpet, picking out the colors before she could dredge back up her voice.]

Where should we start?

[ And yet Angel couldn't look anywhere but right at her, no matter how badly he didn't want to talk about.. well, anything he probably should be telling her. ]

Depends on what you want to know.

[Feeling his eyes, she looks up.] Your son?

[ That, he.. was not expecting. He goes all the more solemnly still, staring at her for a few painfully long seconds. ]

Did Wesley tell you?

I... [she softens, trembling almost imperceptibly.] I would rather you did.

No one's even supposed to be able to remember him. [ It felt like W&H had gone back on their promise, when he knew that wasn't the case. It was just eating him up inside that people could remember, that anyone else still knew. ]

It wasn't like we planned it, Buffy. You know as well as I do, that I can't even- he shouldn't exist in the first place.

[There's a long pause. So many feelings she didn't feel she had the right to feel as she forced her voice flat.]

So what happened?

He was raised in a hell dimension. By someone who wasn't me.

[Her eyebrows knit together, scooting a little closer on the couch.] Angel...

[ He levels her with a look that's all guilt and not a whole lot of anything else. ]

This really isn't something you should be comforting me about.

[She looks immediately crestfallen, though she's quick to pave it over.]

.. I know. But I just want to understand.

I know you do, it's just complicated. All of it's.. complicated. [ he sighs, wishing he could go at this from a clinical approach where it didn't upset him and it didn't hurt both of them more than he wanted it to hurt anyone in the first place. ]

What part? How he got there, or what happened after he came back?

Start from the beginning. I don't have to be anywhere.

I don't think you want to hear the part about Darla.

[To her credit, she doesn't grimace.] Maybe not the very beginning.

[ She gets a lot of points for that. A lot.

And there's maybe half a second, or half of that even, where Angel starts to look like he might talk about the happier memories. When they first had Connor. But he won't let himself go there, and so he's starting on in. ]

Wesley found out about a prophecy, said that I was gonna kill my son. So he took it upon himself to get Connor out of the equation.

[She knew he was leaving out more than just the Darla part, but he was talking and that's more than he'd done since arriving here. More than he even expected.]

That's why things are...tense. Between you.

Tense is putting it lightly, Buffy. [ Angel's just not sure he can look at her anymore, gaze settling somewhere over her shoulder. ]

The prophecy was a lie, set up by a guy whose family Darla and I killed back in the 1700's. He was resurrected by a demon, but Holtz was still more than interested in getting revenge. Wesley just didn't tell any of us what he was doing when he took Connor.

So you assumed the worst.